Posted tagged ‘wtf’

Sumo Slam

June 19, 2008


Sumo Slam

8/10

Here we have Sumo slam, a game that tasks you with throwing your enemy sumo wrestlers off a cliff.

The game is very physics based, so expect lots of bouncing around. The enemy sumo wrestlers have a lot of fury. As the game progresses, they become more aggressive. They throw themselves at you with the speed and momentum of a train. They hit you, and according to newton’s third law, both of you bounce back. Take what I just said and multiply it by 3, because you face three enemies at once. It gets really hectic… throw one enemy off, then the next, and another.

This entails some fun moments. Though a key of the game is bouncing, you will always feel like you have control over your sumo. Use the arrow keys to control him. The physics are a little off, with one hit to the side sending you spiraling off the stage. But alas, this is a good game, despite all the little things…


7/10. Nothing special.


8/10. Throw yourself at the opponents for maximum fun!


7/10. No sound effects, but has a nice soundtrack.


8/10. Be a sumo wrestler, and run around the ring!


8/10. Arrow keys.

Falling Forever

June 9, 2008


Falling Forever

7/10

“I am sorry, but it is in good manner to meet your guests. Fall into the laser, and be polite”
“Is a man not entitled the sweat of is brow? If so, by all means, take the laser as your reward.”
“Suicide is only okay when it is funny.”

You’re apparently entertaining some disembodied voice. He gives you the said words of encouragement. Entertaining him involves a hole in the ground, a small laser on the roof, gravity, bubble things, and sliding on the wall’s to prevent falling quickly to your demise.

Sounds easy. Survive for three minutes while jumping from bubble to bubble in an attempt to stay away from the ground laser? Included are the text that the the voice tells you… survive for 3 minutes and get it to like you. This is a difficult thing to do. The number of bubble quickly decreases. Timing is everything as you struggle to survive. But really, there isn’t much replay. Just try it up again for a score. Keep on the bubbles for as long as possible before jumping to jump as high as possible. That’s just about it…


7/10. Nothing too much really…


7/10. Pop up and up while reading… Interesting!


7/10. There’s the non intense music, that coupled with the pops of bubbles makes decent sound.


9/10. Provide entertainment for a masochistic disembodied voice as you jump and jump and fall and jump.


10/10. Arrow keys and wasd makes doc a happy boy.

Twin Hobo Rocket

June 2, 2008


Twin Hobo Rocket

9/10

Hobos in space. Sounds like an extra clip you would find at the end of a Mel Brooks film or something. Well in this case it’s actually a rather charming little game called Twin Hobo Rocket. At first blush it seems to be rather politically incorrect; more of a jab at homelessness than a social commentary. However when you look at the comments that Vancouver Game Design provides you can see that this is indeed a bit of a social commentary yet despite that facet it’s still a highly enjoyable game.

The interesting thing I noticed about Twin Hobo Rocket is that you can play in single or multi-player mode. Let me tell you, playing multi-player with one person is a great test of patience and talent. If you thought triangles was tough, just wait until you try this. In single player mode you steer a strangely phallic looking ship around the galaxy dodging meteors, grabbing bags of money, and pestering UFOs for handouts. Don’t get too close to the UFOs or they’ll bolt and you’ll be out the cash and the effort. Either way, just follow the on-screen arrow to find the next source of money. It looks like your ship can take a lot of abuse as there is no visible damage for the first few hits but trust me, once you start seeing the damage the game will soon be over. Interesting side note; if you fly back down to earth you can see all of the meteors that you’ve passed by laying on the ground.

The game may be almost entirely in black and white, but that doesn’t detract from the great work with the graphics. The limbs of the hobos seem to flop around lifelessly as you fly through space, but that’s about the only animation that can be seen here. True there are stars showing when you strike an object and the coins seem to scatter to the four winds when you grab a bag from a balloon, but there really isn’t much else going on. Despite this the game has a great amount of personality in the faces of the moon, the meteor, and the hapless hobos.

“Hold my beer, I want to show you something.” I don’t know how the voice actor pulled it off with a straight face, but I was busting a gut listening to all the phrases they had to say. In addition to that the song selected for gameplay is just plain awesome. It lends itself really well to looping and I found myself humming along to the song as I buzzed around gathering coins in space. The sound effects work really well, especially when you strike an object. You’ll hear a rather convincing “clunk” indicating that your steering is more than a bit off. There is a mute button available but you’ll be missing out on an impressive selection of audio that the developer has provided for your entertainment.


9/10. The drawings are awesome but there isn’t much in terms of animations


9/10. Seemingly politically incorrect yet starkly honest. Lots of replay value.


10/10. Great song, excellent sound effects, impressive voice acting, and a mute button!


10/10. I can’t recall seeing another game that involves hobos heading into space to get money from aliens.


10/10. Simple and responsive controls.

You really need to try this game out at least once. 9/10

No comment!

May 6, 2008


No Comment

9/10

Editor here: sorry about the multiple updates to our RSS users. Wireless reception in the hotel is less than useful.

Remember when pies were for eating? I don’t either. Maybe they were made to throw.

Set in a world The media is completely starved of stories/victims. You play a simple man. A simple man with pies. Throw those pies at your hostile reporter enemies to avoid a *gulp* interview. Wait…I do interviews for this site. Whatever, no lesson learned. The controls are full-keyboard, with options to chose whether wasd is to move and arrow keys to shoot some pies, Or vice versa. In terms of sound, you have some nice tuba music and played in an old-timey fashion. The graphics, are pretty well stylized, reminiscent of Fancy pants.

While the gameplay doesn’t sound like much, It really is fun. It gets frantic very soon after you start, with pies flying in every direction. Don’t let the press touch you, or your dignity bar will plummet. Gameplay is good, very hectic.

There are two modes, with very minor differences. They are called “classic” and “survival”. Each are fun, but I can’t seem to find any differences between them either than you get many more journalists to fight in the survival mode. Also, in game there are tabloids, which you throw and it gathers a small group of reporters, who are completely defenseless. Well, there you have it.


9/10. Real clean.


9/10. Frantic!


9/10. Some nice tuba-ing gets you a long way.


10/10. Fend off reporters with pies! I LOVE IT!


10/10. All keyboard, and semi-customizable.

Oh, and did I mention that this was made by the same person who made fancy pants?

Light People On Fire

April 9, 2008


Light People On Fire

9/10

Spontaneous combustion is a myth, right? In most cases it just isn’t possible but in the case of Light People On Fire not only is it possible, it’s also the entire idea behind the game. Start the game and you’re presented with a game screen that has trees, clouds, and people. You can walk around as a tree or flail your arms as you dash from person to person in a mad bid to ignite as many people as possible in one minute.

Use your arrow keys to move your tree/human torch around the screen. When you’re in a good spot go ahead and press your space bar to fire it up. Go on, torch those mothers and babies in the carriages, nobody’s going to think less of you. If a rain cloud crosses your path hit Ctrl to switch back to a tree. Keep in mind that rain will make you grow when you’re in tree form but will cause you to shrink when you’re flaming.

The graphics may not look like much but they actually work really well for this game. We have stick figures, lots of fire, and some happy little rain clouds, not to mention some vague building outlines in the background. The animations, however, are the really impressive part. Watching your character chase the chubby little kids with the popsicles will make you laugh at least once.

There is no mute button, but that’s okay because the music is awesome. The music alternates between a sunny happy little tune when in tree form and death metal when you’re busily turning people into stick figure candles. There are sound effects, but they mostly consist of the screams of your victims.


9/10. Okay graphics, great animations.


8/10. Fun for your inner pyromaniac


9/10. All sorts of awesome with the audio.


10/10. Violent? Yes. Fun? Hell yes!


8/10. Controls work great for this game, not much else you could ask for beyond southpaw options.

What a sick and twisted game. Go play it. 9/10